A Brighton Boy Blogs

Just a quick public information notice: Belkin makes the most unreliable, poorly designed, unmitigated rubbish in the world. It’s true. I have owned several items by Belkin, none of which has ever worked properly, and have always given them the benefit of the doubt. But the Belkin Vision N1 router is the last Belkin device I shall ever own. It crashes all the time and I can’t keep a wireless connection for more than 20 minutes or so before it overheats and freezes. They can have it back through their office windows for all I care. I should sue for the amount of lost time and stress Belkin has caused me. None of their products work properly, or at least work for long. The USB hubs regularly need to be unplugged from the mains and reconnected just so they recognise the devices plugged into them. If it says Belkin, just don’t go there. Please. Perhaps then Belkin will actually take notice and produce something decent for once. Companies like this just don’t deserve to exist.

Oh I just love technology. It’s all soooooo sweet the way it desperately tries to please us, like an overenthusiastic puppy that covers you in canine saliva and humps your leg energetically. Actually of course it’s the techno-geeks who create the technology who are projecting their desire to please onto their mechanoid creations. Unfortunately it all gets perverted by the marketing people.

Take the new trend in ChatBots, for example. Yes, as the name might suggest, it’s a software robot that sits chatting on MSN Messenger (or Live Messenger as it has become). Of course what it can chat about is strictly limited by its programming. However, you should at least have some hope that it knows something about its chosen subject. To extend the example, here’s a conversation I had with the robot entitled “My Fashionable Life” which claims to have “Answers for all of your fashion and beauty questions”.

Jon says:
hello
My Fashionable Life says:
Hello Jon! Welcome to My Fashionable Life, brought to you by CLEAN & CLEAR®.

To check out the info I have on the newest CLEAN & CLEAR® skincare line, just type “CLEAN & CLEAR.”
Jon says:
what is empire line?
My Fashionable Life says:
That’s a bit beyond my expertise. Please try asking me another way, or type “?” to see examples of questions I can answer.

Jon says:
what is a pencil skirt?
My Fashionable Life says:
Hi again, Jon. Check out the info I have on the newest CLEAN & CLEAR® skincare line! Just type “CLEAN & CLEAR.”

Type “home” to see everything I can do or just ask me a question!

Sorry, I know about skirts, but I don’t understand your question. Can you try rephrasing it? Or, to see all of my fashion info type “fashion tips.”

I have a ton of new makeup demos. Type “demos.” and check them out!

Jon says:
what is this season’s colour?
My Fashionable Life says:
That’s a bit beyond my expertise. Please try asking me another way, or type “?” to see examples of questions I can answer.

Jon says:
which fashion house does karl lagerfeld work for?
My Fashionable Life says:
You’ve totally confused me! Please try asking me another way, or type “?” to see examples of questions I can answer.

Oh dear. All my fashion & beauty questions? No, it’s just a gimmick conceived by marketing people to sell more “CLEAN & CLEAR® skincare” products. Will it work? I very much doubt it. But undoubtedly there is a small, dark office somewhere, where, slaving away over a hot keyboard in a little alcove, there’s a techno-geek who’s very proud of his creation, and imagining how much pleasure and life-improving goodness he’s bringing to millions. Ahhhh. Bless.

To enjoy the same magical experience, add “myfashionablelife@hotmail.com” to your MSN or Live Messenger.

I used to get most frustrated with people. People are, after all, apt to do things that prevent our own smooth motion through existence. Don’t get me wrong, they can be fabulous too; but by and large, frustrating.

These days it’s more and more the fault of technology. But since technology is created by people, doesn’t it ultimately amount to the same thing?

For example, right now I’m coping with: Read more…